Browning and Barrett Browning: star crossed lovers

This week I thought I'd look into the relationship between the poets Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. One of my favourite poems is Sonnet 43 by the latter. And from the former Meeting at Night is short and sweet and very effective. I would love to devote an analysis to these but I'm trying to look beyond my previous knowledge so instead I have chosen a romantic poem from Elizabeth (time for some female representation here), who did not believe he truly could love her as he professed: Sonnets from the Portuguese XIII (Portuguese being part of his pet name for her!).

As a background, their courtship lasted 20 months and he undertook the task of caring for her willingly, as she was an 'invalid' (I do not like the term but it is used in all sources).  They married secretly in 1846 and she was disowned by her father, whom she loved very much.

The correspondence of 600 letters is surely something I will look into in my own time as it is said to pertain to the most romantic relationship of the Victorian era.

If thou must love me, let it be for nought

Except for love's sake only. Do not say

I love her for her smile ... her look ... her way

Of speaking gently, ... for a trick of thought

That falls in well with mine, and certes brought

A sense of pleasant ease on such a day'—

For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may

Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,

May be unwrought so. Neither love me for

Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,—

A creature might forget to weep, who bore

Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!

But love me for love's sake, that evermore

Thou may'st love on, through love's eternity.

 

I love the commanding tone of this poem. EBB is not fawning on her lover; she seems to be using reverse psychology by overtly discouraging him from loving her to make him admire her boldness more. The use of the modal auxiliary verb 'must' in the first line sets the tone as if she did not want his love, or perhaps she wanted to save him from loving her. This with the conditional clause beginning 'if' presents an uncertain, insecure relationship which could either succeed or fail. Ending the first line on 'for nought' also gives a negative light, creating 'except' all the more last minute, a small hope in the relationship.

 

She uses the prohibition 'do not say' to command her lover, escalating to 'love me' by the penultimate line, showing she in truth does want the relationship to succeed. Her list of things which might be loved consists of both the concrete ('smile') and abstract ('trick of thought') nouns, which she claims 'may/ Be changed, or change for thee', showing a relationship is fluid, especially over the long 'eternity' which she wants to spend with him.

 

The concept of loving 'for love's sake' is rather abstract but after her argument when it I repeated one can see the logical sense in her reasoning, for love will not change if it exists purely for itself and for the sake of existing. This almost paradoxical climax (for what is there to love if one cannot love the things that change from person to person?) reveals her true feelings, for with the two lines, 'love' is written four times through figura etymologica and polyptoton.

 

The final thing I shall say is this: I like the very personal side to their relationship which she discloses in the lines 'Neither love me for / Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry'. Here she alludes to her condition and discourages his love of it, hopefully looking for a day when she accepts herself and 'forget[s]' to weep, so he will no longer pity her and thus not love her. This shows her to be perceptive, understanding that pity does not equate to love and therefore not indulging herself in her care naively. I suppose as the elder in the relationship she felt she has more control than many younger women might in that time. I'm glad they had their 15 years together, even though she died in his arms, which seems sadly apt for such a story-like relationship.